Early in 2013 I went through some medical things that left me (to put it mildly) with a lot of cognitive catching up to do. To be honest, for a long time I wasn’t sure that I would find my way back to a place where I could learn and retain new information. I became scared of doing anything new, and discouraged because I’d lost my edge in a few different places. Stuff that 5 years ago I wouldn’t have ever hesitated to jump right into became monumentally scary. I’d lost the confidence in my ability to teach myself. I, a person who pulled apart computers and soldered components onto motherboards, turned into someone afraid to pull pieces off a car.
Today I did a small project that was embarrassingly easy, after I spent four hours psyching myself up for the task of removing 4 screws and some clips. I am ever so slowly working my way back to that other place, my comfortable place of “bring it, I’ll figure it out”.
My #highimpactgratitude for the day is about faith. My loved ones and my network of support people have never lost their faith in me, and that faith has propped me up through nearly two years of relentless self-doubt and struggle to come back to baseline.
I never imagined I would be that person, holding a tool and forgetting what its purpose was or where I was going with it. And I was petrified that I would remain in that state forever. Thank you, all of you lovely and wonderful champions, for insisting to me that things get different.