It feels like that, this blossoming resurgence of Summer that becomes more solid every day. I am as a non-corporeal form becoming whole again, fading in and out of view, shimmering as I squint at myself in the mirror, a little less every day.
Instagram is full of self portraits, me checking often often to make sure I am still here. Limbo is almost over. I am here. I live here. This space where I poured my life onto the internet for you all to read and share: it is MY space, my beloved open publishing box. And while memories (and threats) have kept me timid on the sidelines for all these months, my head has filled with words and pictures. I’m ready to let them out. I’m ready to stand in my space, to be solid in my space.
This weekend, I’ll take off in my rental car to a place I’ve never been, to be this person. I leave the jilted lover behind, I leave the inadequate mother behind, I leave the anxious lady huddled under the covers.
I’m taking a backpack, my phone, a tablet and a journal. See you soon, internet.