birth day

They said I wouldn’t remember
And I was OK with that
I saw the disapproval on their faces
They could not know the panic in my body
So, forgiving the cold looks, the white rooms
I swallowed the pills that would make me forget you

At that moment, my son, I didn’t even think of you

But then I heard you
And then you were on my chest
and I could reach you
finally.
And you cried
as I spoke softly.
your cries became whimpers
then sighs
then you were quiet
Watching me

Both immobilized
Swaddled, you.
Paralyzed, me.
Our voices found each other
Heart over heart, beats found rhythm
Our hearts calmed each other.

My voice
Your face
My fingers freed, grazed your cheek
while
Tears rolled down mine

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