well, crap

Apparently I grow them huge IN the womb, but out of the womb they become anorexic. Or something.

The baby has lost weight since our last visit to the ped, even with the supplements we give him. No wonder he always seems hungry. Evidently, he is always hungry. In more positive news (?) the LC that I saw today confirmed that he is not sucking, not swallowing, not latching well, and generally just not good at nursing. Duh. I hate to tell you, Internet, but I fudgeING TOLD YOU SO. I know when my own baby is hungry, people. A nursing vacation can only work when the baby is able to transfer milk.

In more negative news, the LC was sort of new. And didn’t know how to put the SNS feeder together. But she was very nice and positive and generous. She promised to keep me supplied with a hospital grade pump even after this grant pump goes back June 8, and to procure me a medela SNS if I need it on Thursday, if the starter kit is working for us.

I didn’t tell her about the sucky. There is no other way for me to be allowed to put the baby down. I don’t know what else to do.

Deep down, I feel like we’re reaching the end of the road. Now that the child takes 2-3 ounces at a feed, my one ounce pumping output is not enough for him. I don’t know what else to say about that, except I will keep going like this until the baby learns to suck. If after that he stil needs to be supplemented with an SNS or finger feeder, I’m throwing in the towel. There aren’t adequate words to express my white hot furious hate for the SNS. Which started leaking as soon as I got it home by the way, after the LC used is successfully for a half hour in her office. WTF?

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