this one I have permission to re-tell, for some reason

What else? My poor husband is already on hyper alert, sleeping on the couch every night lately in a state of semi-readiness (he really needs some slip on shoes). Tonight he walked into the bedroom and I told him I heard noise on his side of the bed.

“what kind of noise?”

“I don’t know, like on the paper? Like maybe a spider fell?”

This is how lazy I am in my current state, Internet. It’s on his side of the bed, right? Why bother the little guy?

“It’s that little lizard!”

“No, I caught him today and released him outside”, I said. (by the way, I wish the Internet could see video of ToddlerA and me chasing the baby lizard around today. Every time the thing jumped on me and then away, the child would collapse on the floor in a fit of giggles.)

M took the flashlight and started looking around under the bed. And that’s when I heard the scream. Evidently, the noise I’d heard was a palmetto bug (aka: GIANT FLYING ROACH) making himself comfortable behind TeenHer’s Lord of the Rings Poster which is hanging kind of on the vaulted ceiling (this was her bedroom back when we had the sense to keep her upstairs) and when he heard all the ruckus, he made a leap.

Onto my husband’s head, hitting his ear on the way down.

RIP, Giant Flying Roach.

Please send good sleep thoughts to my husband tonight, Internet. He may never relax again.

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2 thoughts on “this one I have permission to re-tell, for some reason

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