Goodbye, House

First of all: why is it that the worst news/realizations with regard to this house project have come when we have had family company WHILE I had PMS? Just askin’

The rest of the story (can you guess?) is that the Good Faith Estimate from the mortgage company finally showed up today. The payments on the house are 500.00 more than we can afford. That is to say, if we never bought another gift (this is foreshadowing, remember it) or ate another meal out or needed a car repair, ever-we’d only have to make an extra 500.00 over and above what M brings home as a teacher (now there’s where we went wrong. he should have been a phone sex operator) in order to pay our mortgage each month.

Oh, and we’d need to stop eating and never have another baby. Well, or sell one of the ones we have already to some nice childless couple in Connecticut or something.

Incredibly, one year after we picked our favorite floor plan and began the process of buying a modular home (oh! because it’s so much FASTER than building your own! and cheaper!) we are back to square one, $1360 and one year of our lives down the drain.

I can’t seem to let go of the fact that the problem is not only the shady nature of the modular home and mortgage businesses. We are also dealing with a poverty level income supporting four (and possibly 5 someday) people, and it’s just not working out. And a mortgage payment that is almost 75% of the take-home pay of the primary earner? Not an option. So what’s the option? “Get a cheaper house, dumbass!”, I tell myself. Well, man-we’re working on it. Except these fudgeing places are like used car lots. No prices. They want to get a look at your car and your jewelry and your insecure face before they give you a price. And then? WHen you ask for something like, lights in the closet? That’s not included in the price. Delivery? Not included. Set it up on your property? You mean, finish building it? We don’t do that. Call this guy. He’ll hook you up for only $8500. Oh, plus the $2500 crane rental fee, and all the nails, boards, and materials he might need to finish the house that you PAID US TO BUILD.

Whoops! You wanted insulation? Oh, that’ll be extra. What’s that? You hate popcorn ceilings? I feel ya. We can remove those for just 1500 bucks, no problem. Air conditioning? Sorry. We put all those rad ducts in for ya, but you’ll need to provide your own unit.

Goodbye, house. Goodbye, teen suite upstairs. Goodbye, family room. Goodbye, dormers, reading benches, and office.

Hello, limbo. I don’t know how much more of this I can take.

Honestly, Internet? I don’t give a crap about family rooms or dormers or offices. (OK, not having an office will sting a little) I grew up in a 500 suare foot trailer. We managed. My parents didn’t even have bedroom walls, for god’s sake. I say, the less space, the less cleaning. I’m all over a smaller place. Just fudgeing find me one and build it. I’m all over the small house, but I’m definitely not all about the looking, the sourcing, the reapplication for permits and mortgages, and the general craptiness of living in a mold-infested cloud of resentment and family turmoil. I just need a goddamn place to set down some roots, for crap’s sake.

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