thank you, Internet, for your kind thoughts. Things are ok. it’s very weird, how everything just keeps going; I keep getting hungry and eating, ToddlerA has to be fed, people call, the house has to get cleaned, clients are hounding me about projects I need to complete, and my baby died on Sunday.
Because it was so early it’s almost like it didn’t happen.
I catch myself hoping for a miracle, that I’m still pregnant like all those people who think they are getting their period but they’re really knocked up, and for months their families are like “holy crap do you see how FAT she’s getting? someone should SAY something!” and then one night someone has a baby in the shower. I mean, I guess I’m not exactly hoping for THAT, but you know.