A Religious Experience

Oh, let me sing a song about Target. Now, before I get roasted by the independent business people out there: When you come to Yulee and open a natural foods store that can sell me organic broccoli for 1.99 a bunch, please, I will build you a soapbox.

Back to the Target song. I just left the Grand Mecca of Targets; a mere 30 short miles form my house. I was in Jacksonville anyway, taking the girls for their one-year checkups. TeenHer, I should tell you, is as tall as her mother and weighs as much now as I weighed when I got pregnant with her. I’m not kidding. Of course, Baby is perfect 50th percentile on everything- a perfect average, if you will. TeenHer is in the 90th in height and 60th in weight. A lean mean, tall drink of organic chocolate milk she is, I tell you.

So anyway. I agreed to go pick up a tub rental for Melanie, since when we were dropping off the tub I fell in love with the middle child, and I also wanted to see the Cutest Newborn Alive, who was born in said tub 3 weeks ago. Their place was a little out of the way home but not too bad. Or, it wouldn’t have been too bad had I not gone completely in the opposite direction from their house for 25 miles. I guess I was a might pissy when I turned around in rush hour traffic to backtrack. I decided my reward would be a trip even further out of my way to the Super Target.

By the time we got inside the house and I got a look at the Cutest Newborn Alive, everything was ALL BETTER, because that’s what tiny babies do. They make everything ALL BETTER. This baby was no exception. She has, I’m not kidding, a completely full head of hair. A tiny little baby Afro, and tiny, tiny, skinny little baby legs and arms. She looks about half the size Baby A was at 3 weeks, just because her little limbs are so very skinny. This woman, she has a 7 year old, a 3 year old, an 18 month old and a 3 week old, and she homeschools. Oh, my, god. I want to go back over and over again just so some of her maternal calm can rub off on me. And so I can look at that tiny baby and play with that tiny 3 year old who jumped up in my arms and hugged me when I left the last time. This visit, she was otherwise occupied in the bathroom while we were there, so I didn’t get my toddler fix.

Now back to my pilgrimage to the Holy Land. We knew we were in the right place when they had a café complete with Pizza Hut pizza and Nantucket Organic juices in the case. I guess we shouldn’t have been so surprised or excited when we saw the organic produce section, but we were, anyway. When I say we I should clarify: I’m not talking about TeenHer and me here, I’m referring to my Grocery Store Twin, Melanie, who didn’t make it out tonight but who I called several times while in the store: “OH MY GOD YOU”RE NOT GOING TO BELIEVE THIS! THEY HAVE ORGANIC MUSTARD!”
That sort of thing. They did have organic mustard, too. And organic mac and cheese E-Z Mac style. And organic chocolate milk in single serving packs. AND Amy’s organic pizzas and soups and Indian food. ORGANIC fudgeING V-8 JUICE, PEOPLE.

And the cleaning products! Method. Biodegradable, cruelty-free cleaning products. Strikes against them: No organic baby formula, and not enough organic baby food.

Please, Lord of Target, when you open your store here in Yulee next year, please consider our small but shopping-addicted community of organic food consumers!

Supposedly, our local health food store is rumored to be opening locally a much larger store with produce and yummy stuff and more selection. Oh, please local HFS guy, expand your selection and make your store cute so we can support you!


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