How to Pick Magazines That Make You Smarter. (Come Back, Brain, Child!)

Every parent should have a subscription to Brain, Child. The only thing that bothers me about the magazine is how fudgeing long the articles are. I mean, I’m trying to be cerebral here, but honestly, what part of their reading audience has the time to sit down and read a 10-page essay? Mental Floss– now that’s a magazine I can get through in a hurry, but then there’s that terrible letdown at the end. Let me also mention here that both magazine subscriptions have run out. I’m on my last Brain Child and my MF is 2 months old. My brain hasn’t yet begun to atrophy, but it’s close.

I read my copy of Brain, Child in increments of one or two paragraphs at a time. I rarely have more than 5 minutes of uninterrupted free time, and most of it is when I’m “winding down” before I go to sleep. That’s it- that’s all the time I have for you folks. Luckily, this fine publication comes out only 4 times a year, so I’m not facing a backlog.

In other news- on Monday I walked into this odor in our house, which was vaguely chemical, to my nose. Michael, of course, can’t smell it. Is it a ghost smell? Do I have a brain tumor? Is it possible that my aunt is still actually paying for the house to be bug sprayed once a month, and if so, why haven’t I been accosted by this god-awful smell before?

Because it’s not pesticides- it’s the cat litter. This, THIS is what we get for trying to be eco-friendly with our cat litter. We bought the pine stuff, free of silica dust and totally organic. (Use it for compost! Flush it down the toilet! One bag lasts 4 weeks!) Now, we are being punished. More specifically, I am being punished, because as I said somehow I’m the ONLY ONE who can smell the stench of wet, feces covered pine needles. I’m in my own special hell, catching a whiff here or there as I walk through the house. Every once in a while I’ll think “hmm! it’s over! Maybe it’s neutralizing” and then WHAM! The hairs on the inside of my nose are gone, by the way.

You might wonder why we don’t just go buy more cat litter? Well. I’m wondering the same thing, I suppose. All I can tell you is it’s raining outside, M was at work all day and had an open house tonight, I worked all day at the consignment store with the baby, and 3 miles is just too damn far right now. We are officially natives of Yulee, when 3 miles is too far to drive. Officially. I’m going to put on my John Deere hat and jacket now, while I smoke a Capri on the porch.


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