babyA, you’re amost 6 months old now. At this moment you are sitting in your exersaucer alternately fussing to get out, and looking up at me laughing. You’re trying to put all the pieces in your mouth, except they don’t move, so you’re contorting your tiny body in order to get your mouth down to the tray where the toys are.
All in all, you are an exceptionally happy baby. Your big sister was the same way. I often joke that the Universe smiled upon me because I woudn’t have been able to deal with one of Those Babies, that are moody and hard and cry all the time.
Just in the last week, you’ve started to laugh. The first time was at your grandfather, who has a gift for funny faces and sounds. Of course, ever since that day, your dad, your sister and I have made total fools of ourselves trying to find the right combination of sounds, facial contortions and tickling. You’re stingy with the laughing, still. We might get a chuckle here and there. A few nights ago you laughed so much for so long that I called Melanie so that she could hear it. As soon as you saw the phone you stopped laughing and tried to put it in your mouth. You’re all about the mouth lately, since we took your pacifier away.
It’s for your own good. It hurts us more than it hurts you. You’ll thank us one day. But this day, and for several days now, you hate me when you are falling asleep. You struggle, and cry, and whimper. You try to suck on my shirt, on your fist, on your feet. You get frustrated and just wail and wail while I hold and rock you. Then, like a switch flipping, you are asleep. Taking the paci away was rough, but I am so enjoying the 6 and 7 hour stretches of sleep I’m getting at night! You and I wake up around 7 (6 this morning though- no more of that please) and you eat, then we play for an hour or so before you fall asleep for your morning nap. I usually nap with you, then bolt out of bed and pretend I was already awake when your grandfather stops by to bring the mail.
When you were very tiny I would think “Oh I don’t want her to grow! I love this tiny tiny stage!”. Now I am so glad you’re growing and developing and doing so much new, amazing stuff every day. It’s daily, and it’s so very interesting. Watching you interact with people turns me into a puddle of motherly pride that I’m sure is annoying to anyone near us who doesn’t have children.
You’ve found your feet. Feet are soo fun and almost a substitute for the pacifier. You are enjoying your lovely feet SO MUCH that I am actually considering switching to disposable diapers for a while since when you are wearing a cloth diaper, you can’t reach your feet and that just sucks. I think you are the happiest when you aren’t wearing a diaper at all, and you spend about half the day like that. But dude. You being naked requires a LOT of concentration on my part, including contstant watching you for your “pee” signal and split second scooping you up for a trip to the Baby Bjorn Potty we have sitting on the bathroom counter. Now when I am paying close enough attention, you can go a whole day without a diaper and that is pretty rad. It’s just that, when I am paying attention that closely- nothing else gets done. No eating, no cleaning, no sewing, no cooking of dinner. Perhaps if we can get you a modeling contract we can afford to hire a housekeeper and then I can devote every single second of my day to hanging out with you. I have big plans.
You are losing your hair. It’s time we all faced the facts. For a while, we were in denial, but we got some pictures developed that were taken when you were about a month or two old, and wow. You had so much black hair. All that remains of your black lucious tresses is a mohawk style strip of looong hair right down the middle of your head. Your new hair is lighter. Your father wants to cut your combover off so you’ll be more punk rock and less 50-year-old man in with MPB.
I love how you are gravitated toward the mirror, and you are always trying to lick your face. I wonder what you’re thinking when you’re standing there in front of the mirror, hands outstretched, mouth open, slobbering all over your reflection.
Most of all I love how much you seem to enjoy me. I have the luxury for now of being at home with you, and I have such a fantastic time. I secretly love that sometimes you just want me and nothing else will do. Even though it hurts my back and wears me out, I love carrying you in the sling or hip carrier. I wish I could have you on my person all day long, but you are a wiggler, and it’s harder to type or sew or clean with you attached than it was when you were first born.
Watching your dad turn from my best friend and the man I was in love with, to those things plus a melted pile of love as soon as he met you, was pretty amazing. He is everything I could have ever asked for in a father both to you and to Hannah. I am so looking forward to watching your relationship develop.
Your sister has been spending a lot of time with you lately. I love to watch your face light up when you see her. I don’t know what you two are doing when she takes you up to her room-I am guessing there is TV watching involved, and quality time with the stuffed animals. I’m so, so glad you have a big sister. You’ll thank me one day. I just hope when she buys you beer or lets you drive her car before you have a license, she is careful. One day, I’m sure you ‘ll thank her for being the One That Came Before you. I imagine she’ll pave the way for all sorts of kid and teenage discipline issues we’ll be running into.
Now you’re on my lap, whining about who knows what, and I’m counting minutes until someone comes home to relieve me so that I can shower and eat breakfast. At 1:30. I know, I know. I should stay up when you take your morning nap, and get those things done while you sleep. But the morning nap is Our Time, and I’m not giving it up.
Till next month,